Surfing!

I have been reading a ton about drinking, blogs and books and the Booze Free Brigade feed.  I have also been listening to The Bubble Hour.  There is so much good information out there.  I think about how much easier it must be to get sober now with all these options.  Easy and get sober in the same sentence - yea, right! I guess what I mean to say is that we are fortunate to have so many resources available.

While I am filling my non-hungover, getting sharper by the day, sweet little brain with all kinds of info I am also realizing how scary it is.  I feel really good and really confident at Day 11, like I could really see this working out for me as far as a booze free life.  Then I read about folks that went 30 days, 11 months, 4 years (!) and started drinking again.  It scares the crap out of me.  Is there ever a time when you get to not be vigilant?  Is it ever just over?  Is it always so much work?  Is a relapse a result of it not being work anymore?  Is that what happens when we get complacent in sobriety?

So, these thoughts run through my mind... alot. I hate being afraid, but I am glad to be aware.  I've decided to treat it like surfing.  I love surfing and being on the water.  It is an amazing feeling.  With that feeling though I have to always be aware of what is around me.  Surfers can never turn their backs on the ocean.  Plus you have to be aware of the other dangers, rocks, shallow areas, critters with big giant teeth and jaws.  But even with all those challenges it is worth the risk.   Yes, it is scary.  Yes, people who have gone before me haven't always succeeded. Yes, I will get tumbled around and not know which way is up for a minute. But, when I am up and I am surfing - there is no other feeling like it in the world!