So, my entire family is out of town from Sunday to Wednesday this week which leaves me on my own. This easily could have been a 4 day bingefest - work be damned! I'd muscle through each day with a raging hangover, but it would all be worth it because I could drink myself in to oblivion each night. I could fall asleep on the couch (clearly it must be more comfortable than the couch based on how many nights I end up there). I could watch crap TV. I could make bad food choices and not care (til the next morning). I could basically just completly waste any free time I had by just having my own solo crapfood, shitty tv boozefest! Wow. that.is.sad. SAD. I know that I very easily could have done that BUT I didn't. It is Tuesday, tonight is my last night solo and I have not had nor do I intend to have said boozefest.
I did however, stay home from work yesterday. I have never ever allowed myself to stay hom from work due to alcohol or a hangover. My thought was always that the pain was self-inflicted so I needed to suck it up and take care of my responsibilities. I have never missed a trail run, mountain bike day, day of work or any other obligation due to my drinking...at least not physically. I am sure mentally and/or emotionally I was far from being in attendance. But I think since I denied myself the sad, solo boozefest I felt as if I deserved something. I was really feeling a strong need to just be alone. Truth be told - I was also just really, really tired. Tired for no reason, but just literally felt exhausted mentally and physically. I am trying to take care of myself right now and just be okay with whatever my body needs, rest, sugar, whatever. Of course there is a balance too as I tend to err on the side of self-indulgence. What I need to practice right now is mindful indulgence. I need to be nice to myself.
Tonight I have nothing planned and I am looking forward to it.
Thankful to be on Day 9
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