Here I am at Day 4 again. This is the day I fell off the wagon last time. Got crazy with that one drink at dinner last Saturday. woop woop. It wasn't even worth it - having to start counting all over again for that one drink. I feel like such a dumbass. Oh well, moving on.
So, this week's challenge begins today. We are leaving tonight for a 4 day family (just me the hubs and kiddies) mini-vacay in the mountains. Super fun, but every time we go on mini-vacay it is a perfect excuse for me to have a little (who am I kidding? little? phsshh) cocktail or 3. So....here I am faced with this. Do I or don't I? I honestly don't know which way I am going to go on this. I mean what's the worst that could happen if I don't drink? I might remember the whole vacation. I might be able to get up early (and not be hungover) and go for an amazing mountain run. I might not spend extra money on booze. I might not consume extra calories on booze and crap that I think I should eat while drinking booze. I might stay connected to the kiddies and hubs for the whole weekend. Well, that all sounds pretty nice. So, I really don't know at this point. I still don't have vodka in the house so the fact that I'd have to spend a bunch of money on vodka and kahlua is discouraging me as well. Right, cuz this isn't a health issue, it's a financial issue. Fuckin-a, I think my brain is wired wrong.
I guess it doesn't matter what kind of issue it is - in the end it is an issue. Maybe I can moderate...I have to think back to last Saturday when one drink sent me into a sharklike feeding frenzy of more more more! I didn't get to have more, but still it was a weird experience. I wasn't drunk from my one drink and I felt like an observer of the ping-pong game in my brain in regards to searching for a drink and then trying to not search for a drink.
No conclusion yet regarding what this long weekend will bring, just getting all the thoughts out there. We shall see...
No comments:
Post a Comment