Wow. 1 day. I made it 1 day last week. Pretty sad. I feel like I drank a lot this weekend too. I had 2 white russians on Friday, Saturday and Sunday night each. I swear, my liver is aching today. I am all full of remorse and woe now too, as usual.
I have been reading blogs about other womens journeys and I think I may have lulled myself in to a sense of feeling like mabye I am not so bad... here is my screwed up reasoning: I can have all kinds of alcohol in the house and not feel the need to drink it. We currently have wine, rum, tequila, beer, whiskey, you name it and I probably won't drink it. If I am out of my drink ingredients of choice (vodka and kahlua for a white russian) then chances are about 98% that I will not have a drink. Oh, if we are out of milk I will also not have a drink as that is the 3rd ingredient. Sad sidenote: I have actually told my son to not drink milk after dinner because I knew if he poured himself a big glass that there would not be enough left for me to make my drink. So, CLEARLY my alcohol issue is not that bad, right??? sure. right. keep on convincing yourself.
So, I will start again today. I will somehow try to keep the willpower I have now steamrolling in to this evening. All I can do is keep trying, I will figure this out. I just need to keep turning the mirror inward.
No comments:
Post a Comment