30 freakin days!

30 days today. I'm just going to roll that around on my tongue for a bit. 30 days sober. 29 days ago this day seemed impossible. 29 days ago I wasn't even sure I wanted to be sober. Here I am at 30 days and I know this is the right choice. I love the clarity that I have most days now. I can honestly say that I do not want to drink today. I am not drawn to it today. It used to annoy the shit out of me when I would read blogs and the author would talk about not wanting to drink. I would think that was impossible, or at least impossible for me. But I'll be damned if I'm not sitting here typing those exact words. What a difference a little bit of time can make. I don't say it very often, but dang it, I am proud of myself so far. I am doing what I set out to do and it feels good.

Back in June when I was still quitting and restarting I told my husb that I wanted to stop drinking, clean up my diet and really get more involved with my gym. I wanted to assist with workouts, who knows, maybe be a coach some day. I had been thinking about the fact that I love to workout and I love reading about fitness, both physical and nutritional, okay and I am obsessed with weight loss shows, before and after stories are like crack for me. I thought it would be really cool to be more involved in health and fitness both for myself but also eventually for others. Lately I have taken it up a notch in my classes and have been doing the demos and helping. Today we showed up to the gym and there was no coach. Everything was locked up tight. About 10 of us decided to go to the park and make up a workout. I basically got to lead it. It wasn't quite the way I'd planned to maybe start coaching, but it was cool. The other ladies said "you lead it". I had no plan so I had to make it up as I went. It wasn't great, but all things considered we did great. 

So on the 30th day of my sobriety I was given an opportunity to glimpse maybe what it might feel like to follow that dream a little. I feel like I was given a that a month ago I would not have been able to receive. I would not have been clear-headed enough to have led the class and I don't think I even would have been aware that it was something I wanted to do.

Oh and I had a piece of cake to celebrate! (It's not ALL about nutrition)